The Samaritan woman’s encounter with Christ is an example of our encounter with people every day, in the squares, in the church, in the street, in the workplaces. In every encounter of this kind, the heart of each one of us is revealed: where is the heart? Jesus’ heart was with the Samaritan woman in her encounter, while the Samaritan woman’s heart was in the traditional conflict between Jews and Samaritans, the conflict of places. But Jesus turned this encounter from a traditional encounter in which enmities are renewed into a new life for the Samaritan woman.
The question posed to us is: how do we meet people and converse with them? Do we meet them as Jesus met the Samaritan woman? Or as she met Him? Jesus humbled Himself and asked her for water, showing His need for her help, then transferred her to a new world. Whereas when she met Him, she said to Him, “You are a Jew,” then wanted to enter into traditional argument with Him.
We have grown accustomed to making our differences the axis of any conversation between us, whether in politics or in religion: my faith is greater than your faith, my denomination is better than your denomination, my doctrine is more precise than your doctrine, we are right and you are wrong, my father is greater than your father. In our conversations, our affiliations and ideas become the axis of the discussion, and we discuss not to hear the other or attract him, but to triumph over him, to prevail over him, even if we are wrong. We always seek for the other to be in the wrong and show him the greatness of what we are in, of our choices and selections, of our reality and affiliation, as though the other matters only insofar as he belongs to us. And so we lose ourselves, and lose the other, and turn the encounter into an arena of conflict of wills.
What is dialogue? Dialogue is an icon of the encounter with God. If we cannot converse with a human being whom we see, how shall we converse with God whom we do not see? The conflict that occurs within dialogue with the other is in reality a reflection of our inner conflict and our lack of peace with ourselves. How then should dialogue be? It does not begin with agreement on doctrine or on ideas, but with acknowledging the other and his needs. We must understand his affiliation, his ideas, his choices, and his selections without judging him or condemning him, and without arguing with him about them and proving his error. See: Christ did not attack the Samaritan woman’s faith like His Jewish contemporaries, nor did He turn the dialogue into a conflict of wills or a doctrinal conflict; rather, He made it an encounter of salvation, an encounter in which each of us belongs. And in this case, even if the dialogue fails and we cannot lead him to Christ, it is enough that the dialogue becomes an encounter, not a conflict. It is enough that we walk on the right path. It is enough that we grow through dialogue with the other, not that we try to defeat him and triumph over him.
How Jesus entered into dialogue with her
Jesus thirsted — He who is God — in order to give to the Samaritan woman, and He showed His need for water just as she needed it, and asked her for water to drink, in order to create a conversation with her. He was opening a conversation. When we want the other, we must show that we have the same thirst and the same need, so that we may be equal, so that he feels we resemble him, that we seek what is common with him. The common ground is what helps us set out. And also, secondly, that we show that we need him — his thought and his time — so that he opens his heart. Fruitful dialogue is not a charity from one side to another, but rather that we acknowledge that we need one another. Saint John Chrysostom says: ” Nothing attracts the soul and makes it soft and ready to accept the truth like love and humility. Christ did not come to condemn but to save, and so our words must be”
Jesus followed a gradual approach with her. First she saw Him as a Jew, a stranger and an enemy, and He was not grieved. Then she saw Him as greater than Jacob, and He did not hasten. Then she saw Him as a prophet, and He did not mock her. Then she saw Him as a savior, and He did not exalt Himself over her. Dialogues with the other take long steps, without our growing weary and despairing. If the other at first sees us as an adversary, let us not be affected, but let us see him as a beloved brother, then transfer him little by little into the world of Christ. Saint Augustine says: ” The truth is not imposed by force, but shines in calm hearts”.
In dialogue we must focus on the goal, and not get lost and go wherever the dialogue takes us or whatever results from it. When the Samaritan woman answered Him, ” How is it that you ask me for a drink, you being a Jew and I a Samaritan woman? Jesus did not go along with her; rather, He transferred her thinking to the essential point and focused on the water of life. And when she took Him to Jacob, who gave them the well — she took Him to the greatness of the well — but Jesus returned and focused on the water. And when she finally asked Him for the water that He gives, He revealed to her her life and her sin, and she was not wounded but repented, because she perceived Him as a prophet. Then she asked Him about the places — where God is worshiped, here or in Jerusalem. He did not get drawn into the discussion of places; rather, He told her: we worship what we know, and you worship what you do not know, and salvation comes from the Jews. Then He transferred her to the state: we worship God in spirit and in truth. Then she went to Christ, and He declared Himself to her.
Take heed, for the truth is not revealed from the beginning, lest it become deadly; rather, we need to pave the way for it so that the other accepts it. Had Jesus said to her from the beginning, “Salvation comes from the Jews,” the dialogue would have turned into traditional argument, and had He said to her, “I am the Christ,” she would have mocked Him at once. Jesus proceeded with her step by step, helping her to open her heart, then declared to her His declaration. An elder says: ” Make your words with others like salt that prevents decay, and let your heart be a harbor in which the weary rest from the waves of argument”.
In the end, let us learn from Christ how to converse with people, how to humble ourselves before them, how to care for them, and how to seek what is common among them, so as to draw them to us. The living Christian is the person able to seek what is common with the other and build with him, to see the other’s need and meet it. And this question remains: how do we converse with people, and what do we want from them?