Its keys: decision, dignity, remembrance:
In the second station man remembers his personal dignity and the worth of himself. Man among us does not remember God’s tenderness and love, since we have not yet entered into an experience with God and have not yet known God, but rather we know what He placed in us, that is, dignity. The chief mover in us is our remembrance of our worth, and the wealth we squandered is our worth, our dignity, our honor, and our image. For he who passed over the first station (the publican) and knew his self rises to the second station by taking a new decision in his life befitting his dignity as a son, and returns with the younger son “and he came to himself (his inner chamber)” (Luke 15:17). This return to the self is a moment of calm, and a reflection upon the past with all the events we passed through, and the situations in which we erred toward ourselves and others, or the states in which we enjoyed dignity. We ask ourselves: where were we, and where have we become? What did we do with every neighbor, and what is the result of our deeds? And we conduct upon our past a true, harsh, and honest critical process, upon both sides of our personality, the radiant and the dark, the sinful and the good. At that point man attains the highest forms of awareness, but without placing blame on anyone and without scourging ourselves. Then we evaluate our present reality like the younger son: “I perish with hunger!” (Luke 15:17). It is important that this evaluation be by the measure of the stature of Jesus, not according to other standards as the Pharisee did in the previous station.
Then man takes his decision that will change his life — this decision from the depth of our souls. For example: just as the student decides within himself that he must succeed and so sets himself to study, so this decision of the heart is an inner stance. Then man sets for himself a new plan that founds his life, in which he returns to a good and tender reference, the Father, that is, the heavenly Father: “I will arise and go to my father, and will say to him” (Luke 15:18). After man sets his plan, he embodies his stance and his decision like the younger son: “and he arose and came to his father” (Luke 15:20). What does it mean to return to the Father? To return to His values, His principles, His work, and His thought, and to return to our first human dignity.
This change in our life requires taking a decision, and this moment is the hardest of all moments in man’s life. A thousand thoughts come to him (no one will believe your repentance, no one will trust you again, life belongs to the strong, the honest one dies, life is hard and not for man, and so on) — many thoughts that require firm resolve, and sometimes we will pay the price of the new change.
“And he arose and came to his father. But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was moved with compassion, and ran and fell on his neck and kissed him.” (Luke 15:20). It is striking that God stands waiting for man’s decision; for at the moment man takes his decision from the depth of his soul, God comes to him. He does not need to go to some place; it suffices that he takes his decision in his depths, and God will have become present in the heart. Man need not say anything except: I have sinned, Lord. The Lord needs nothing from us except that we realize ourselves and realize our errors. This confession He does not need; rather, He needs our inner stance. Therefore He did not let the son finish his speech, because He does not look at words but at the depths.
As for the mover of this station, it is fundamentally one and none other: dignity — that man remember his dignity in the eyes of God, meaning that he remember the worth of himself, and so take a sound stance toward himself and toward God Himself. For the man who remembers his dignity does not accept to be a slave herding pigs for anyone, that is, he does not accept to be a servant to anyone, or a thug for anyone, or the henchman of so-and-so, but rather takes a decision befitting his dignity as a human being, a son of God.
Therefore this station is the decision by which man changes his view of himself, and then he will see that everything changes. For the father in the parable changed his view of the son on the basis of the son’s changing his view of himself and his dignity, and embraced him. And if man does not learn to love himself with a sincere love and realize its worth, it will remain exposed to every passerby. Others will not change their view of us unless we change our view of ourselves. And it is important that we forget the past and all our failure in it, and begin anew. The sign of stability in this station and of God’s acceptance of us is man’s changing his view of himself.
Note:
As for sins, let man not think that they are only adultery, murder, and obscenity, but rather every evil: for example, writing reports and passing on news to the religious and political leaderships, thuggery, buying stolen goods, withholding good from its owner, favoritism, flattery (bootlicking), and subservience, reaching power by deceit and flattery, servility and ignorance, not doing justice to the wronged, not bearing witness to the truth, and silence in the face of injustice to keep oneself aloof; the stance of one’s life toward injustice, not standing with the truth, and factionalism, withholding good from its owners, being two-faced, gloating, and mockery, and so on.